Rhino Fanhood

So the entire population of Big City has gone crazy as of late due to the exploits of our beloved "Rampaging Rhinos" of UBC. Despite a relatively disappointing football season, the Rhinos have somehow landed themselves into a fairly big name bowl game. This action has caused all of the Rhino faithful to collectively lose their minds. In particular, the search for bowl game tickets has reached a fevered pitch, with rumors of tickets being enough to cause widespread rioting. I'm at the New Belfast branch, (which isn't even remotely near UBC's campus) working reference when I get this call:

Me: "New Belfast Library, reference desk, may I help you?"

Insane Rhino Fan: "Yeah, I was calling about getting some tickets to the Kiwi Bowl."

Me: "Um...I think you might have the wrong number, sir"

IRF: "This is the library, right?"

Me: "Yessir"

IRF: "Part of the Big City County Library system?"

Me: "That is correct"

IRF: "Well, I heard you had tickets!"

Me: "I'm sorry, but the library doesn't sell tickets. Perhaps you had us confused with UBC's Library?" (I mean, hey, it's worth a shot. I'm sure they're much more accustomed with people calling for football tickets than we are and probably know who to call to for ticket information)

IRF: "I already called them. They said they didn't have any!"

Me: "okay..." (Very confused)

IRF: "Aren't you a government agency? Shouldn't you have tickets for sale?" (Logic! I think he figured us out. Since UBC and the library both get their money from the state, they both offer the same services. It makes perfect sense! Just like hanging out in the library for 4 years can get you a diploma from UBC)

Me: "I'm sorry, but the library doesn't sell tickets."

IRF: (Exasperated) "Well, do you know where I can get tickets?"

Me: "I'm fairly certain UBC already sold out of their allotment of tickets. You might want to try the internet or ebay, but it's going to be a lot higher than face value. (Like I said, EVERYONE is trying to get a ticket.)

IRF: "I figured as much. That's why I was hoping to try out the library first, before I checked online. Cause the library would have them for free, just as long as I had my card. I mean, I just paid off my account"

Me: (Head exploding) "Wha???..." (pieces of brain mold back together) "No sir, I'm sorry, the library doesn't get any free tickets."

IRF: "Well, thanks anyway. Ebay, you said?"

Me: "That'd be your best bet"

I think the library is missing out on its true calling for being a ticket broker where John Q. Patron can get free tickets for major sporting events just by having a clear account. I mean, that's REALLY serving the community.

That being said, Go Rhinos!