My Personal Way to Beat High Gas Prices

So this past memorial day I had the pleasure of sitting through governmental librarian in-service. Over 300 librarians, all crammed into a room together, suffering through some of the most interesting powerpoint, the breaucracy has to offer. And I know what you're thinking: "Wow, with so many librarians, who's going to feed the cats?" I kid! I kid!

Anyway, as part of the fleeting efforts to keep us vaugely interested, door prizes were given out. In particular, your very own Tony Kris won by far the best door prize.

It was a Razor Scooter. A very fancy one at that. Seeing how gas prices have topped $4 in Big City, I believed I had just found a fool proof way to get around. Sure it would take me hours to get from my house in Bruce Hill to any of the libraries, and cost me more money in Gatorade than I would ever spent on gas. Plus, I would be a stinky, sweaty mess once I reached my destination. But no matter, Tony Kris just got himself a Scooter.

During the lunch break, after finishing my plate of state-supplied gyros, I decided to give my new set of wheels a spin. It took me a little while, but soon enough I was speeding around the parking lot. However, in my excitement of learning how to ride and steer, I forgot the value of stopping. After reaching a swift pace, I promptly lost control of the scooter, and made a theatrical crash at the foot of my car.

I don't believe any saw me, and it's for the best, since my accident resulted in my pants being severely ripped. In the crotch area. And impossible to cover up. Needless to say, I quickly made my way home to make a quick change before any one was the wiser. (Of course, now I've written this online, everyone will know. Oh well, price you pay for blog posts)