Oh Those Sneaky Patrons

At the Taylor branch, back at work for the first time since going on funeral leave (Fraternity brother, guy I rushed with and lived next door to for all four years. Brain tumor. Cancer. Nasty stuff. He was 23). Trying my hardest to maintain decent patron relation skills in order to offset the ongoing sad thoughts. Luckily, the wackiness of patrons came through when I needed surreal humor the most. Woman walks up to the desk with a reference book.

Sly Lady Patron: "Yes, I want to get this book renewed"

Me: "I'll need to see your card" (Scan it into the computer) "Okay, it says here you have nothing checked out"

SLP: "No, I checked this book out 3 weeks ago. I just want to renew it"

Me: "I'm sorry, but your account doesn't have anything checked out." (I notice that it's a non-circulating item) "Also, those reference books don't check out. See the star on the binding"

SLP: (Now realizing that the jig is up) "Bye" (Darts out of the building)

As near as I can figure it out, she thought she could get around the whole "THIS ITEM DOES NOT CIRCULATE" stamp with her clever lies. I'd like to think that she planned this out for weeks, waiting for the exact moment to spring her genius on the unsuspecting library world. I guess all my years of education were for naught, since they never covered how to deal with such brilliance. I'm so thankful that I unexpectedly foiled her little plot, or else I'd be fleeced something good!